REMNANT: THE RPG
by The Layman
Summary: Follow Barb, Miles, young Lindsey, and others as they make their way through their friend's home brew RPG, REMNANT. (Technically OCs, but there's a reason for that.) [AN Crew #2]
1. Prologue

Lindsey was bored out of her skull.

It wasn't that she didn't appreciate what her sister was trying to do for her- even if she _specifically said_ that she didn't like hanging around a bunch of strangers! -but she just wasn't enjoying herself at all! She was _much_ happier battling the Covenant on-line in Halo, or chatting with her writing group over Facebook, or watching some stupid cartoon while pigging out on cookies in her room! She had fun doing that! Sitting in the corner of some weirdo's house while Barb chatted it up with the rest of the high school seniors left something to be desired.

She sighed, swirling the punch around in the red plastic cup she held. (Barb made sure it wasn't spiked.) She already counted all the knotholes on the bench she was sitting on, so she decided to scan the room, take in all the Seniors who'd come. ...she didn't care, she just wanted to go back home and play some video games, and nobody here was playing any video games!

"Well," she sighed, raising her cup in a mock toast, "here's to forever being a wallflower..."

"I'll drink to that!" someone next to her said, causing the young sophomore to start in shock. She turned around and saw a scraggly guy with a beard sitting next to her, knocking back a beer. "...Ah, that's _goooood_ self pity!"

 _Eep!_ she squealed internally, quickly scooting as far to the side as she could with outright falling off the bench. _When did_ he _get there?_ she wondered, _I thought I was alone over here! I didn't hear him sit down...maybe he's magic!_

"So," the guy said, finishing the last of his drink, "what's your stor-"

"Are you magic?" she blurted out, her mouth moving ahead of her brain. Her face rouged almost immediately, and she twiddled her fingers in embarrassment. "I mean, um...Hi...," she managed, wishing the she could just load a previous save state and do the the encounter over again. "...I'm Lindsey."

"Miles," the guy reciprocated, extending a hand, "Nice to meet you." He stared at her quizzically as they shook, "Have I seen you before?"

"Probably," she said, "we _do_ go to the same school after all..."

"Really? Huh, small world."

"Yeah! So...," she gestured with her cup, "why are you out there with all the rest of them?"

Miles shrugged, "I dunno; I guess I'm just to cool for this crowd, you know?" He leaned back, stretching his arms behind his head, "Yeah, I'm a bit too mature for the football/trendy clothes/reality TV crowds that like to dominate these types of gatherings. I'm a bit edgy than that; 'fringe', if you will."

Lindsey processed this, nodding. "So you don't like being here either," she deduced.

"Yeah, pretty much," he confessed, his confidence evaporating. He raised his empty bottle, "To the socially awkward?"

"To the socially awkward." She raised her cup once again, and took another sip of the (not spiked) punch.

"So, uh...you seem a little young to be here," Miles noted hesitantly.

"Yeah," she explained, "I kinda got dragged here by my sister. She's...she can be a little overzealous sometimes." She pointed to a tall, blonde girl chatting it up with a group of students, "That's her there."

"Wait, you're sisters with _Barb_?!" He looked at the girl sitting next to him: she was a little on the short side, with neck length, crimson hair and a cherub-like face. Then he looked over at Barb: tall, blonde, and a face that broke more than a few hearts during the last four years.

Then he looked back at Lindsey.

She rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "I was... _kind of_ adopted," she said, "My mom knew her dad from way back when, so they took me in when I didn't have anywhere else to go."

"That...certain explains why you two look so different," he said, unable to think of anything else that would break the sudden awkward tension that now hung in the air between them.

Fortunately for both of them, Barb chose that moment to come over and see how her little sister was doing.

"What gives, Linds?" the blonde asked, plopping down between them, "I brought you along so you could meet some new people, not sit in the corner the whole night!"

"I said I didn't want to come," she pouted, talking into her cup, "You know I don't have fun at these things..."

"What! _Everybody_ has fun at these parties, they're all _about_ having fun!"

"Then why isn't anyone playing on the Xbox?" She pointed over to the entertainment center across the room, where said video game console was sitting abandoned under the TV.

Barb rolled her eyes, "Because it's not that kind of party; everybody's here to socialize and talk with other people! Other than you, show me _one_ person here who isn't having a good time."

"I'm not," Miles interjected, raising his hand.

"Shut up, nobody asked you!" Barb snapped before turning back to her sister. "Look," she said, "practically all you ever do at home is sit in your room and play video games and chat with people you've never actually met in real life, and frankly, I don't think it's entirely healthy for someone your age to be doing that."

Miles was looking _incredibly_ uncomfortable now.

"So, I'm just gonna...over there," he said, gesturing vaguely away from the adopted sisters as he subtly made his exit.

"Barb," Lindsey said, "I know you care about me, and I know you mean well, but...I just don't..." She stumbled over her words, trying to figure out how to explain that she just wanted to go home. In the end, she just decided to be direct. "Look, I'm not having a good time and I don't want to be here. Can I _please_ go home?"

Barb sighed, shaking her head. "That kinda defeats the point of me bringing you with me...," she muttered under her breath. "Tell you what, give me like twenty minutes to touch base with all my friends, and I'll bring you home."

"Thanks, Sis-"

"On the condition that you find someone to talk to until then," she continued, folding her arms over her chest and grinning smugly.

"...You're mean."

"Love you too!" She patted Lindsey on the shoulder, "Happy socializing!" With that she got up and headed back into the throng,

"No, wait, come back!" Lindsey called as Barb disappeared into the crowd of 17 year olds, reaching feebly after her. "...dammit." Sighing, she got up and started walking around, hoping that someone would decided to ask her what she was doing so she could claim she talked with someone. She wished Miles hadn't mysteriously disappeared, he actually seemed like a somewhat not horrendous to talk to. After what she guess was about five minutes she sat back down on her bench. This time she checked to see if anyone else was sitting down, lest she get a repeat of the episode with Miles.

Sure enough, there was a guy sitting on the other end of the bench with a stack of notebooks next to him, furiously writing in one of them.

"Um, excuse me?" she asked, holding up her finger, "Uh, what are you doing?"

"Trying to balance the combat," he answer, as though she knew what he was talking about, "but there's not really any way to know if it works without people to help me test it." He opened another notebook, made a notation in it, then went back to the previous one. "My normal group all has other plans, so I'll have to wait until next weekend before I can even _try_ to test it out practically."

Lindsey leaned over and peeked at the notebook the guy left open, trying to decipher the handwriting.

"...'Remnant'?" she wondered, reading the title at the top of the page.

"A little project I've been working on between classes," he explained. He stuck his pen in the binding rings and closed the book. "It's an RPG set in kind of a techno-fantasy world, with monsters and transforming weapons and the like."

"Sounds cool!" she said, genuinely interested. Finally, she found something interesting! "Can I try it?"

"I guess, though it would be better if we had more people..." He dug through his stack and pulled out one of the books. "This is the character creation," he explained, handing the book to Lindsey, "so just tear a page from the back and use it to make your character."

"Sure!" She hurriedly tore out a blank page and flipped to the front, reading as fast as she could; _now_ she was started to have fun!

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

"OK, here's my character!" Lindsey announced, handing the paper back to the guy, "Is it good enough?"

He looked the sheet over. "...Not too bad. I'm guessing you're a fan of Little Red Riding Hood?"

"Sorta. It's alright, but in the book you wrote that the Hooded Cape gives you a Speed and Agility bonus. Besides, I just like red clothes."

"...and the skirt?"

Lindsey didn't have an answer for that, simply shrugging. "It works with the corset?" she supplied weakly.

"Well, it's your character, who am I to judge?" Satisfied, he handed the sheet back her, grabbing a binder from the table behind him and opening it to a page near the beginning. "Alright, the scene starts in a small corner store in the City of Vale, which specializes in Dust."

"They sell _dirt_?" Lindsey wondered.

"No no, Dust is the the magic system in this game," he explained, Lindsey's face dawning in comprehension. "Anyway, you're currently in the back looking at the magazines. Now roll for- Oh..."

"What is it?"

"I wasn't expecting to actually play this tonight, so I didn't bring any dice with me. Although..." He dug his phone out of his back pocket and swiped through the screens before selecting an app. He handed it to Lindsey, "Here, just press the shape with the eight in it."

"Oh, OK. ...it says 2 now."

"Then you're really engrossed in the magazine you're reading, probably listening to music while you do. While you're doing that, a group of unsavory looking character enter the store, lead by a man who looks like Malcolm McDowell's character in A Clockwork Orange." When Lindsey looked confused, the guy explained, "Basically he wears an off white tailed coat, he wears a Bowler hat, he has a cane, and he has eyeshadow on."

"Oh...!"

"Anyway, he orders his goons to start collecting all the Dust in the store while he keeps an eye on the shopkeeper." He gently took his phone back from Lindsey, laying it on the table and pressing a shape with a ten in it; the result showed 4. "One of the goons hears the noise your headphones make and pulls out a machete, pointing it at you. 'Hands in the air, kid!' he tells you. Now roll a reaction."

"But I don't hear him, my music's up too loud," Lindsey pointed out, "How else could he hear what I was listening to?"

"That's...actually a good point. I didn't think of that. I'll have to fix that before I show it a publisher... OK then, in light that, he tries to get your attention again and fails. Fed up, he grabs you by the shoulder and spins you around, knocking your hood off and revealing the red headphones your wearing. He gestures for you to take them off."

"I take them off, then."

"'I said, put you hands in the air!' he repeats."

"I ask him if he's trying to rob me."

"He says yes, but very rudely do to the fact that you're apparently not getting it. Now roll the one with the six in it."

"...5."

"...and he rolls a 3. You see that he's about to attack and beat him to the punch. Roll a d12."

"The one with the twelve, right?"

"Correct."

"...9."

"Your attack sends him flying, skidding across the floor until a stand near the front of the store gets in his way. The guy in the Bowler hat gestures to another goon to take care of you, without actually looking up from the Dust crystal he's admiring. Unlike the last one, this goon has a gun."

"I run at the goon and tackle him to the floor!" She hit the d12 icon without being prompted. "Woohoo, 12!"

"...OK then, you move to tackle him. But next time, please wait until I tell you what to roll, OK?"

"Sorry..."

"That's fine, just don't get ahead of me. Let me just roll a save against that...3. You barrel into him and you both go flying through the front window, the goon getting knocked unconscious from the impact on the street outside. Roll the d8 for Landing."

"OK...5. Um, why do I need to do that?"

"Well, when I was designing this game I imagine that the combat would look like a Hong Kong action flick, which meant that the characters would be doing a lot of complicated jumps and maneuvers and stuff. This way, it limits what people can actually make their characters do, so they don't break the game with, say, something out of the Matrix."

"I've never seen that movie."

"Bullet time and the like."

"Ah!"

"Getting back to the game, you manage to land without falling over and pick yourself up. By this time, Bowler hat and the remaining Goons take notice of you and file outside. There are...," he rolls a d4, "...3 more goons, and they all charge at you with weapons drawn. You can either run away or start attacking them."

"Can I attack all of them at once?"

"I...guess so? I wouldn't really recommend it, but this is is just to test the combat system. Uh...roll a d20 for all three."

"'kay. ...Oooh, 17!"

"Wow, that was a good roll. You draw and unfold your weapon, a...," he pressed the d10 icon twice, then looked at a chart in his binder, "...sniper rifle/scythe combo, planting the blade into the ground and use it to catapult forward and kick one of the goons in the face, knocking him unconscious. You wrench the blade free and fire its gun, sending another of the henchmen flying. He..." He pressed the d12 icon, rolling a 2. "...is out of the fight for good. The last one fires his gun at you, but you dodge and knock him into the air, leaping up after him and knock him back down to the ground."

"Yes! Victory for Lindsey!"

"The goon lands next to Bowler hat, who snidely mutters something about the goons being worth every penny, and police sirens can be heard in the distance. He then turns to you and says 'Sorry I can't _stick around_ anymore' and fires something out of his cane at you. Roll a d12 for damage."

"...9 again."

"You manage to avoid the blast by firing your sniper/scythe at the ground, propelling you into the air. Roll for landing."

"...6."

"You stick your landing, but now Bowler hat seems to have disappeared."

"OK. Um...he isn't running down the street, is he?"

The guy rolls. "...No, you don't see him running down the street. In fact, they appear to be completely deserted."

"...is he climbing up a building?"

"Interesting guess." He rolls again. "Yes, you see him climbing up a ladder to the the roof tops. Before you can rush after him, you hear the shopkeeper fretting over the broken window of his store."

"I tell him- no, I ask him if he minds if I go after the Bowler hat guy."

"Alright then, he...nods."

"I nod back and head up the ladder after Bowler hat- Um, question?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you think of a better name for him than 'Bowler hat guy'?"

The guy sighed. "I was planning on giving the NPCs names and back stories after I fixed the mechanical problems. Anyway, you catch up to him before he can slip away over the edge. Roll initiative."

"Which one is...?"

"D6."

"Oh, gotcha! ...2. That's not good, is it?"

"We'll see in a second. ...5. OK, you call for him to stop, and he does. Unfortunately..." He pressed the d20 icon, rolling an 18. "he's not alone anymore. A small, VTOL airship rises from the other side of the building you're on, and he tosses a crystal of red Dust at you, which he shoots, causing it to explode. Bowler hat jumps to safety on it. Roll d20 to save."

"Sure, why not? ...20! Yes!"

"Well done! That's the best roll you could have gotten; and because you rolled higher than Bowler hat did, that means you can counter his action with your own."

Lindsey rubbed her chin thoughtfully thinking the situation over. "...is there anyone else around who could come help me?"

"Let me check. ...You're in luck. As the smoke clears, it reveals that someone has blocked the explosion by a woman wearing a pencil skirt and a short cape with devil tails along the hem. She's holding what looks like a wand of some kind, and there's a glowing purple circle hovering in front of her. She waves her wand and the circle brakes apart into several streaks of light that she fires at the VTOL craft. It...rocks the craft but doesn't do much damage."

"Damn."

"Bowler hat disappears from sight, presumably to yell at the pilot. A moment later a woman wearing steps into the open bay. Her face is hidden in shadows, though you can make out what appear to be her eyes glowing in the dark."

"Is there _any_ way I can see her?"

"At this point, nothing short of bringing the craft down and digging through the wreckage. I'm guessing you don't want to resort to that?"

"Well, what's my alignment?"

"Didn't you put that on your character sheet?"

Lindsey shook her head, "You didn't make that a requirement in the book."

"Well then, I guess you'll be Lawful Good; I haven't worked out the details yet, but my intention was for the player characters to be students being trained to protect the Four Kingdoms from evildoers. That's another thing I need to fix..."

"So is there a way to take that thing down without it crashing?"

"Give me a sec to check the Witch's character sheet-"

"But aren't witches Evil?"

"True, but this is _my_ game, so _this_ one is a good witch. You know, like Glynda from the Wizard of Oz."

"Oh. That's fair, I guess."

"Now, the _good witch_ casts a storm spell over the VTOL craft-"

"Didn't you say this was supposed to be a _Techno_ fantasy?"

"OK look," the guy snapped, "if you're going to continue criticizing my _clearly unfinished game_ , then I'll just ask someone else to test this for me."

Lindsey blanched, horrified at the implication that she'd have to actually socialize; she was actually having _fun_ playing with this guy, none of that pesky "getting to know people" or "people asking her how she was doing" or "she should just get over it" stuff that usually came with talking to people.

"I'll be good!" she blurted out, "Please don't leave me alone here; it's boring and I don't know anyone here and I'm actually having fun!" She rubbed the back of her head sheepishly, "And my sister kinda told me that she'd take me home if I talked with someone for twenty minutes...I promise not to point out any more inconsistencies."

"...Alright. Can we get back to the game now?"

"Sure. Good Witch was casting a spell, right?"

"Indeed she was. And..." He pressed the d12 icon, rolling a 4. "...it doesn't do much outside of pelting the ship with some hail, maybe one or two stones break through the cockpit glass. After the hail stops, the mysterious woman in the red dress gathers up energy to fire at you and the Good Witch." He pressed the d12 icon. "...10. Roll to save."

"'Kay. ...10, yes!"

"And for the Good Witch...12. The woman throws the energy and you and the Good Witch-"

"Um...?"

"..."

"...go on."

"Thank you. Before either of you get immolated, the Good Witch blocks it with another hastily conjured shield circle. Both of you survive, but the roof is a different story, part of which is destroyed by the blast. However, Good Witch telekinetically gathers up the debris into a giant spear and launches it at the craft." He pressed the d12, rolling an 11. "The mysterious woman fires another blast of, well, _fire_ at it, but it only causes it to dissipate for a second before it reforms and pelts the side of craft, which then reforms again into several smaller spears and-"

"Hang on, hang on, weren't we trying to get the ship to set down?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Because Good Witch is probably going to destroy the ship if she keeps up the attack."

"Oh, that's actually a good point. OK then, the Woman sees that the ship probably can't take much more punishment and...12. Huh, maybe the app's buggy. Anyway, she releases a huge blast of fire that engulfs the ship and destroys the debris spears-"

"Wouldn't the ship get destroyed as well?"

"...Oh look, someone else who I can test this with-"

"Sorry, I'll be good!"

"Thank you. Now-"

"Uh, sorry to interrupt again, but, um...can I attack? I kinda haven't in a while."

"Hmm...go ahead and roll initiative."

"Sure thing. ...6!"

"OK, and for Good Witch...3. And the Woman gets...4. What do you do?"

"You said I had a sniper rifle/battle scythe, right?"

"Something like that."

"So then I start shooting at that woman in the dress. Do I roll?"

"Yeah. Roll the d12."

"...8."

"And the Woman rolls...11. She blocks all your shots. And before you ask," he said before Lindsey could speak up, "because she just can, that's why. Anyway, you don't know how she does this, but she somehow creates glowing circles on the roof where you're both standing."

"That seems bad. Do I do know she's doing?"

"No, but maybe Good Witch does." He pressed the d8 icon, rolling a 6. "She can tell enough about it to know that neither of you want to stay standing where you are. Let me just roll a d20...17. She rolls out of the way while Force pushing you, and manages to make it just before the roof explodes again. Roll for Landing."

"...2."

"...and a 3 for Good Witch. You both land shakily, you more so because you got tossed." He pressed the d12 icon. "...and the bad guys manage to fly away while you both get back to your feet, and once you do they're too far away to follow."

"Dammit, now I'm not gonna get as much XP...," Lindsey pouted, disappointed that the fictional bad guys managed to escape.

"It's just as well, I haven't exactly figured out how to work one into the game anyway," the guy assured her, "though on the bright side, this means I have villains for later in the module. ...now I'm gonna have to come up with characters for them..."

She regarded him quizzically, "You mean you didn't already?"

"No, they were just a couple throwaways I came up with on the spot so you'd have someone to fight." He sighed, grabbing the notebook and pen he was working with before and opened it to a blank page. "Gonna need to refine the lore a little bit too, it seems..."

Lindsey smiled, thoroughly satisfied with how the evening was turning out. It still sucked that she got dragged here when she about to have a nice night of watching dumb cartoons and chatting with her online friends, but she _did_ get to meet this guy and do some gaming with him, and she supposed Miles was that bad either, even if he _was_ kind of dorky...

 _Where'd he go, anyway?_ she wondered, scanning the crowd (was it just her, or were there even _more_ people now than before?) for the scraggly senior.

Suddenly, from over her shoulder, she heard "Checking out all the hot guys?" After squeaking in surprise, she turned around to find her sister standing behind her, a mischievous grin plastered on her face.

"Why would you think that?" she asked, appalled at the suggestion. Sure, there may be one or two fictional characters she _might_ have had tiny crushes on...but they were _fictional_! She was perfectly fine with that! They didn't ask her questions or judge her or pity her or try to invade her personal space. Real people were...uncomfortable.

Barb raised an eyebrow, "...So the girls then?"

"No! It was one guy in particular and...that sounded totally different in my head..."

"Well regardless, you obviously found someone to talk to while I made my rounds, so we can still go home if you want."

"Do we have to?" she wondered, "I mean, I _kinda_ just survived fighting a dude in a bowler who was robbing a Dust store and a lady who uses magic and I kinda want to see what happens next."

Barb just stared blankly at her sisters, as though she were speaking an entirely different language.

"...huh?"

"My RPG," the guy explained, looking up from his notes, "Your sister has been helping me fix some of the issues with it."

"Oh. ...yeah, that didn't explain anything. And why is there a store that sells dirt?"

"It's 'Dust'," he clarified, "and if you've got a moment then I'll be glad to explain it to you."

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

"...and that's when you came in," he said, finally getting to the end of the explanation; he explained the basics of how the game worked, which Barb seemed to comprehend, and gave an abridged account of the session he just did with Lindsey.

"Pretty cool, huh?" she asked, smiling.

Barb rubbed her chin. "I guess. I mean, if you're into that kinda of thing."

"I'm hoping to eventually get it published once I iron out the bugs." He gestured to the bench next to Lindsey, "Do you want to join us? Honestly, the more people playing this at once, the better."

"I don't know," she said, scratching the back of her head, "I'm not really into the whole D&D thing...but give me a ball, two goals and an open field, and I'm _unstoppable_!"

"Or those two bullies..." Lindsey mumbled under her breath.

Barb turned to her, pointing, "Hey, they had it coming; _nobody_ picks on my little sister and gets away with it!"

"I could have handled it myself!"

"It was your first day! I wasn't gonna let you get a bad mark on your permanent record after only one day in high school!"

"So...," the guy said hesitantly, "is that a yes?"

Barb took a moment to think the proposition over, eventually checking the time on her phone.

"Holy crap! When did it get so late?" She quickly pocketed her phone, grabbing Lindsey by the arm, "We need to get home _right now_ before Dad blows a gasket!"

"W-wait a minute, wait a minute!" Lindsey protested, trying to tug her arm free from her sister's iron grip. After a bit of struggling she broke free, turning back to the guy. "Can we play this again some time? Please? It's really fun!"

"Well," the guy said, "I...guess I don't have a problem with that." He turned to Barb, "Do you?"

"I guess not," the blonde shrugged, "You free any time soon?"

"Let's see...I'm going to need a bit to make the improvements to the game, and then I have that meeting with the WotC rep to pitch the concept, and- Hang on." He picked up his phone and opened up the calender. "...I've got some free time on the forth of next month, how about we reconvene then?"

"Sounds good to me. Linds?"

"All of the yes!"

"...OK, that settles that! Now seriously, we need to get home before Dad decides he wants to spend all our evenings as a family from now on!"

Lindsey tilted her head curiously, "But isn't that a good thing?"

"Not when you don't get to play this game again because of it," Barb pointed out.

Lindsey blanched, understanding finally dawning on her.

"It was nice meeting you!" she called back to the guy as Barb resumed dragging her out of the party, "Oh yeah, you never told me your name!"

"It's Monty!" he called back, just as the two sisters disappeared.

It took him a minute to run after them when he realize that he never got either of the girls' contact information.

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

 _Hey there, Layman here!_

 _Gigi: Qi qiqi!_

 **Run, cowards! Ye stand in the presence of the Mighty and Powerful and Kin-** _*whackwhackwhackwhackwhack!*_ **...dammit!**

 _And that's Neo. And welcome to my newest fic, in which RWBY becomes a tabletop RPG! You know, Dungeons & Dragons and the like. I gotta say, I never thought I'd have as much fun with this fic as I am. _

_Gigi: Qiqiqi qiiqi qiqi?_

 _No, I've never played a genuine tabletop RPG before, to my detriment. However, I've been doing some light research into different RPGs and I think I've got a pretty good idea how they work now. And just to clear this up at the get go, the RPG in the story isn't supposed to be based off any one real life RPG, but rather something I cobbled together specifically for this story._

 **Interesting..., _muses the Magnanimous and Prurient Magical Neo, looking over the Buffoon's notes for the story,_ it seems well thought out, if a little bare bones. **

_Well, this is only the first chapter. And keep in mind, there are going to be new rules and systems added as the story goes on. Would you mind showing the list to everyone at home, Neo?_

 **Of course, _Her Ladyship Magical Neo nods, holding up the unworthy paper for all to behold._**

 _ **Remnant RPG roll table**_

d6 = initiative order (who goes first in combat)

d8 = observation (how observant you are in a particular moment), and Landing (how well you recover after a Stunt)

d10 = ?

d12 = basic actions (attacking, etc.), _the higher the roll, the better._

d20 = Stunts (bigger than basic actions, i.e. attacking multiple enemies and performing complicated maneuvers) _the higher the roll, the better._

*Saving/counter: roll the same die as the attacker. Lower rolls fail, matched rolls succeed, higher rolls counter.

Aura = HP (as %). Recovers out of combat.

Semblance = singular special player ability (function TBD)

 _Gigi: Qi qiqiqiqii qiqiiqi qii?_

 _That's because there's a good chance of the d10 getting phased out of the game. That might happen throughout the story, things might get dropped as much as they get added._

 **Hmm...so will you be doing these rolls yourself?**

 _Nope. I mean, do you know what the odds are to get the exact rolls I need to make all the results match what happens in the show?_

 _Gigi: *quickly does calculations and shows the results to the Author and Neo*_

 **Meep..., _the Flabbergasted and Astounded Magical Neo exclaims in awe, noting the many, many decimal places._**

 _I know, I didn't think it'd be_ that _much...! *turns back to readers* Anyway, future chapters hopefully won't be as long as this one was, but that all depends on what happens in and out of game. Hopefully I'll get another chapter done soon, right after I finish up a one shot I'm working on involving a certain forth wall breaking, Chimichanga scarfing, Magic Satchel abusing degenerate mercenary, so be on the lookout for that one. Later!_


	2. First Class accommodations

_We're back! I'm The Layman..._

 _Gigi: Qi qiqi!_

 **And I'm Neo, _states the Empirical and Attractive Magical Neo, not so subtly checking out the Buffoon's flabby muscl-_** _*whackwhackwhack!*_ **U-um...ignore that last bit...**

 _Aaaaaaanyway...now, I should probably correct something from the last chapter._

 _Gigi: Qiqii qi qiiqiiqi qi?_

 _No, nothing major, just something I wanted to say last time that I somehow forgot. *turns to readers* This fic came about as a combination of my budding interest in Role Playing Games (one in particular called "The Burning Wheel", which is well worth your time if RPGs are your thing), the fic "Crypts and Criminals" by GtreatWyrmGold, in which the Baddies of RWBY play D &D (It's hilarious.), and a web comic called "Darths & Droids", in which [so far] the first six Star Wars movies get re-imagined as a tabletop RPG. It is _so _hilarious I just can't even!_

 _ **Her Ladyship rubs her porcelain chin thoughtfully,**_ **It seems like an interesting concept.**

 _You should definitely check it out, it's well worth anyone's time._

 _Gigi: *chuckling* Qiqiiqiqi qiqiqi qii qiqi!_

 _I agree, "Summon: Bigger Fish"_ was _hilarious!_

 **Um, _the Impatient and Want To Get On With It Magical Neo interjects, holding her immaculate finger in the air to get the attention of the Buffoon and the Stuffed One with Spunk,_ Could we possibly start the next chapter? I'd like to see what Lindsey and her sister are doing.**

 _OK, fair enough. Enjoy the chapter every- *a large crash is heard* The heck was that?_

 _Gigi: *shrugs* Qiqi qi?_

 _I don't know... Let's check it out!_

 **But shouldn't we- _calls the Wary and Cautious Magical Neo as her Sweet Baboo and her [stuffed] gal pal race upstairs to see what's going on._...wait for me, _Her Ladyship sighs,_ I'm coming too...**

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

Lindsey almost did an about face and ran right back out the door. "Barb, can I talk with you for a minute?"

After Monty got Barb's phone number (the blonde pointed out that their father wouldn't be too happy if he found out Lindsey was handing her number out to random, older boys) they'd agreed to meet in the School's gymnasium so he could bring maps and the like for them to use. Barb had taken care of getting permission from the faculty, since it was right in the middle of time of year when all the sports teams needed to train. Fortunately, the basketball team was scheduled for an away game with their crosstown rivals, so they were able to reserve to hall with no trouble. While she did that Lindsey busied herself buying her own set of RPG dice, and the materials to make a miniature of the character she made, including a Little Red Riding Hood statuette, a Grim Reaper action figure (for the scythe), and hobby paints.

And apparently, Monty had asked a few other people if they wanted to join their game.

And four of them said yes.

"I don't know," her sister replied, raising her eyebrow mischievously, " _can_ you?"

" _Barb...!_ " she whined through gritted teeth.

"OK, _fine_!" Barb sighed, allowing Lindsey to lead her over around the bleachers, "What's the matter, Linds?"

"Why are all these other people here?" she demanded, "I thought it was just supposed to be you, me, and Monty doing this!"

"Whoa, don't get mad me, it was Monty's idea to get other gamers involved. What was his reason again...?" she wondered, snapping her fingers as she tried to remember. "...Oh yeah!" she finally recalled, "He said he wanted to see how the game worked with multiple people playing it."

"Why would he do that?" Lindsey asked, looking legitimately perplexed at the suggestion, to which Barb rolled her eyes.

"Because _he's_ not a shut in who only goes out of his way to talk with his immediately family," she explained, "Not to mention he's trying to get his game published, which I remind you, is specifically designed for more than one person to play at a time. You know, like most RPGs."

"But it still- wait, how do you know that about RPGs? I though you were into sports."

"Monty mentioned it when we were talking the other day."

"...so you remember that, but you had to think about why wanted to bring in other people?"

Barb shrugged, "Hey, I'm only human!"

"Hey there Wallflower, what's shakin'!"

Lindsey and Barb turned around to find Miles (from the party a month ago) standing there, a can of grape soda in his hand.

"Oh hey Miles," Lindsey said, looking around her sister, "Did Monty ask you to help him test Remnant out too?"

He shook his head, shrugging, "Nah, I just saw a flier on the public bulletin board and thought it looked interesting." He took a sip of his soda. "Ah, good stuff. Anyway, Monty was teaching us how the game works and we were making our characters before you guys showed up- by the way, hi Barb -you guys need a minute to do that before we start?"

"Nope!" Lindsey said, popping the P, "I already got mine!" She quickly dug into her backpack and dug out a cheap plastic display case with her miniature in it; it was a six inch tall Red Riding Hood statue, holding a tiny, tricked out scythe in a dynamic action pose. "What's yours look like?"

"Oh...we were supposed to make our own?" he wondered, looking deflated.

"No," Barb assured him, pushing Lindsey towards the table in the middle of the court, "my sister is just a little weird and takes stuff like this way too seriously."

"I can walk on my own!" the fifteen year old protested, "Stop pushing me!"

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

 _A few minutes later..._

"OK," Monty said, peeking over his GM screen (which had a picture of a moon slowly breaking apart on it), "everyone know how this works?"

"I think I have a handle on it," a petite girl with short, platinum blonde girl said, holding a binder open on her lap.

"I'm good," said a girl with black hair.

"That's a big 10-4, good buddy!" Miles announced, the platinum blonde girl groaning in response.

"I'm all set," Barb stated.

"But you just got here," Miles pointed out, "When did you-?"

"I've been listening to Lindsey here talk about this practically non-stop for the last thirty days, I could probably recite the rules backwards if I wanted," she explained, "That, and talking with Monty all the time didn't hurt."

"Oh."

"I'm ready here," said a girl with brilliant red hair, toying absently with her dice, "Shall we begin the game?"

"Unless anyone has any questions?" He paused, waiting for someone to speak up. When no one did, he launched right into the scenario. "...You're all riding a large airship on your way to start you time at the country's Advanced Combat Academy in order to better your skills and become protectors of the innocent." The clatter of an unseen die could be heard rolling. "The weather's beautiful outside, so there isn't any turbulence for the trip."

"Um, actually," Lindsey interrupted, raising her hand, "...why am I here? My character, not _me_ me."

"She makes a good point, the platinum blonde stated, "her character is younger than the rest of ours."

Monty thought for a moment. "...Because you got noticed by the headmaster of the School and got offered to attend early because of how good a fighter you were," he decided. "Anyway, everyone roll for-"

He was interrupted when " _This! Is! Spar! Ta!_ " began looping.

"Sorry!" the girl with red hair apologized, holding up her phone, "That's my friend's ringtone, she must have changed it when I wasn't looking. Pardon me for a moment." She got up and walked out of the room, answering the phone as she did. "Hello, Sam? Where are- Yes, Sweety, I know, we just started. ...No, you were supposed to take a _left_ turn at Abla- I wrote the directions down for you, what did you do with the paper?"

The rest of the conversation was lost as the gymnasium doors closed behind her.

"So," Monty continued, not missing a beat, "while Jen deals with that, go ahead roll your d10s to see if you all are in the same cabin." There was a clattering of dice.

"I got a 3."

"1."

"I got 8."

"Same for me."

"I got an 8 too."

"Wow, that actually works out well; Kara, Arryn, you two are either not in this area of the ship or are on another ship altogether. As for the three of you, go ahead and talk with each other, it'll still be a while before you reach the School. ...and roll you D10's again."

"What for?" Barb wondered.

"Roll them and you'll see."

Clatter.

"I got a 2."

"9 for me!"

"7."

"Miles, you get an acute case of air sickness."

"Oh come on, that's not fair!" he complained. "...fine, I try to hold it back."

"Roll for Landing."

"Excuse me," the platinum blonde said, "but isn't that supposed to be for combat scenarios?"

"Roll for 'recovery' then," Monty amended. "Happy now, Kara?"

"...yes. Yes I am."

"So...do I roll the d8, or...?"

"Go ahead, Miles."

"'Kay." Clatter. "4."

"You manage to not heave all over the floor, making it over to a trash can in the nick of time. This leaves you preoccupied for the moment, so let's cut back to Lindsey and Barb."

"Given Lindsey's new back story, I'm currently gushing over her getting to go to School with me!" She slung her arm over her sister's shoulder and hugged her for emphasis.

Lindsey tried to wriggle out of the grip, her face flush with embarrassment. "Cut it out, Barb!"

"But you just got moved ahead two years, I'm so proud of you!"

"No, I mean actually cut it out," the younger sister clarified, finally wrenching free of Barb's arm. "It's embarrassing..."

"Let her go, Barb," the dark haired girl (Arryn by process of elimination) admonished, shooting Barb a gentle glare.

"OK, OK! I won't try to crush my sister anymore."

"Yay...," Lindsey cheered weakly, her cheeks still glowing.

Monty cut in, continuing his narration, "While that's going on, there's a newscast playing on a holographic screen big enough for everyone in the cabin to watch, regardless of their position. Currently there's a mugshot of a man wearing a white tailcoat on the screen, the newscaster reporting that he was still at large after pulling a robbery the previous night."

"Oh yeah, Bowler hat guy!"

Monty shrugged, "I thought of a good roll for him in the module."

"How do you know that without rolling Observation?" Kara asked Lindsey.

"He was part the session I played when I met Monty," she explained.

"Do I hear any of this?" Miles asks.

"No. Your head's shoved down a trash can, right?"

"Even if you _can_ hear it, the can's reverberations from the sounds of your dry heaving most likely muffle the audio to the point where it's too hard to understand," Kara pointed out, a slight edge of condescension in her voice.

"Thanks Kara, but let me do the GMing, OK? Anyway, the story switches over to one about a peaceful protest that got disrupted by terrorist group called the White Fang. However, before it can get too far into the story, the image blinks and is replaced by a hologram of a woman wearing glasses, a pencil skirt, and a short, purple cape. 'Welcome,' she says, 'and congratulations on making it into the Advanced Combat Academy'."

"Wait, who is she again?"

"She helped me fight Bowler hat and the fire Woman," Lindsey explained to her sister, "How did you forget that?"

"I forget stuff, OK? Lay off!"

" _Anyway_ ," Monty cleared his throat, "'You are now among the privileged few chosen to attend our prestigious Academy. Our world is currently experiencing a time of unprecedented peace, and as future Huntsmen and Huntresses, it will soon be your job to uphold that peace. You have all demonstrated the courage, determination, and will for such a task, and it now falls to us, the veterans and teachers, to provide you with the knowledge and the training to protect that peace upon your graduation.' After that the projector blinks off."

For a moment no one said anything, until Arryn broke the silence.

"That was the most vapid and overblown speech I've ever heard...," she said, blankly.

"It's still a work in progress," Monty quipped, "And shut up, you're in a different part of the ship right now!"

"You know," Kara said, "it just occurred to me that you never described the scenery we're flying past. If I'm going to be by myself for this flight, I at least deserve to have something nice to look at."

"Eh, makes sense, I guess," Barb shrugged.

"OK then, everyone roll Observation."

Clatter.

"5."

"Same."

"Dammit! 2..."

"7."

"I got 8!"

"Kara and Arryn, you two are probably some place without good view. Lindsey and Barb, you both see a sprawling metropolis below the ship. Lindsey even manages to spot her old school."

"Cool!"

"What about me?" Miles asks.

"You look out the window, only to feel another wave of nausea come on. Roll recovery."

Clatter. "... _1_."

"The floor where you're standing is now delightful shade of puke."

"I guess," Barb said, leaning into the table, "that he just couldn't... _take the pressure!_ "

Nobody laughed.

"Geddit?" she pressed, "Cuz, like, we're in the air, and airplanes, and, like, pressure, and...stuff..."

She continued receiving humorless glares.

"...you guys suck."

 _to be continued..._

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

 _So, um, a thing happened..._

 **That's one way of putting it, t _he Apprehensive and Wary Magical Neo states, whilst keeping a wary eye on the unconscious space marine laying on the couch,_ especially considering we very nearly got pounded into statistics before Gigi managed to subdue him. **

_Gigi: *polishing her oversized mallet, "The Twilight Cure"* Qiqiqiqi qi qiiqi qi!_

 _Yeah, what they said. So now I'm gonna have to deal with_ that _once he wakes up. *sigh*, Mom's gonna_ love _this..._

 **You know, I don't think I've ever actually met you mother in all the time I've been here, _Her Ladyship dawningly realizes._**

 _That's because she's usually glued to her Korean soap operas most of the day, when she's not eating, sleeping, or cleaning. She's strangely industrious about the cleaning._

 _Gigi: *taps Author on the shoulder, pointing to space marine* Qiiqiqi qi qiqiqiqiqi!_

 _Indeed he is, Gigi; why don't you deal with that while Neo and I hide behind this office chair, OK? OK! *drags Neo behind office chair* Have fun!_

 **We'll be with you in spirit! _the Courageous and Stout-Of-Heart Magical Neo assures the Stuffed One with Spunk, internally squeeing at the chance to be so intimate with her Sweet Bab-_** _*whackwhackwhackwhack!*_ **...have fun!**

 _Gigi: Qiqii... *headsmacks, then tiptoes over to the unconscious space marine, gingerly poking him with the handle of The Twilight Cure* ...Qi?_

 _Unbeknownst to the sentient plushie, her prodding had the unintended affect of waking the slumbering supersoldier. "Ugh...," he groaned, rubbing his helmet where Gigi bludgeoned him earlier, "...did anyone get the number of the_ cruiser _that hit me?"_

 _Gigi: QIIIIIIIIII! *reflexively whacks space marine with mallet, knocking the helmet clean off this time*_

 _Um...not bad, but maaaaybe tone done the violence a taaaaaaaaaaaah..._

 **Huh? _Her Ladyship wonders perplexedly,_ What's so- Oh. _That's_ what's so.**

 _With some difficulty the space marine manages to get to their knees, holding their head in pain. Without the helmet the marine's long, dirty blond hair fell down the back of their armor, looking matted and caked in grime. They had a scar running diagonally across their left eye, the offending organ having been replaced with a clearly mechanical, artificial one._

 _Gigi: *bugeyes_ _*_

 _...you're a girl!_

" _Of course I'm a girl!" she exclaims hotly, "My fricking armor's Lightish Red!"_

 _also to be continued!_


	3. Mine's bigger than yours!

_*In the last Authors Notes...*_

" _Of course I'm a girl!" she exclaims hotly, "My fricking armor's Lightish Red!"_

 _*And now, the continuation!*_

 **You mean "pink",** ** _Her Ladyship corrects the ugly bi-_** _*WHACKWHACKWHACKWHACKWHACK!*_ **…"Lightish Red" is technically pink.**

"Noooo _," the female space marine drawled, "I mean 'Lightish Red', which is technically Lightish Red." She sighed and explained further when she saw none of the idiots getting it, "President for Life Donut decreed that the word 'pink' was emasculating and was forever banned from use under penalty of personally getting an oil massage from the president himself. Fortunately, VP for Life Simmons added a clause that allows people to say it in the context of explaining why we can't say it so the prison population wasn't quintupled overnight."_

 _Gigi: *nods understandingly* Qiiiiii, qii qiqi._

 _That seems a bit...extreme for one color._

" _You think_ that's _bad," she says, "you should hear his thoughts on Chantilly lace."_

 **By the way, _asks the Clearly Superior and Not Fugly Mag-_** _*WHACK!*_ **...I don't think we caught your name?**

" _It's Mississippi," she said, staring strangely at the Lightish Red themed girl. "...Why does your friend there smack her tablet all the time?"_

 _*sigh*...it's a long story..._

 _Mississippi looks around the room, "Well, I'm obviously not getting shot at by space mercenaries employed by a corrupt industrialist trying to gain political control with the remnants of a secret military think tank I was formerly a part of, so apparently I've got time." She flops back down on the couch, causing it to creak, "Regale me."_

 _Well that was...oddly specific, but I don't see why not. *turns to readers* While we're doing that, enjoy the next chapter!_

" _The hell are you talking to?" Mississippi asks, peeking over the Author's shoulder._

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

"...and further more," Kara said, finally coming to the end of her diatribe, "although puns are the lowest form of humor, they're still _leagues_ better than that travesty that spewed out of your mouth before!" She pointed emphatically at Barb.

"...you done?" the blonde asked, giving no indication that anything Kara said had sunk in.

"Yes."

"Then may we please get on with the game?" Monty asked, rubbing his temples.

"I suppose..."

"OK then." He cleared his throat, "Now, because Kara took so long to berate Barb for her godawful joke-"

" _Hey!"_ both girls exclaimed.

"-you've all made it to the Academy, and are all disembarking from your ships-"

"Am I still nauseous?" Miles interrupted.

"...Yes?"

"Then I push past everyone in order to get to solid ground faster."

"...fine. Roll for basic action."

Clatter. "11."

"As soon as the boarding ramp deploys you make a break for it, beating everyone off the ship and making it to another trash can before you barf again. Meanwhile..." He reached into a box next to his chair and pulled out an 8 inch tall castle, placing it on a map he set up during Kara's rant. "...Barb and Lindsey get their first view of the Academy, and marvel at its splendor."

"...Isn't that Cinderella's castle from Disney World?" Lindsey asked.

"Yes," Monty said, "yes it is."

"Oh."

" _Why_ is it Cinderella's castle from Disney World?" asked Barb, who was having a harder time dealing with that fact than her sister.

Monty sighed and once again ribbed his temples, feeling a migraine coming on. "Because I haven't finished painting all the miniatures yet," he explained, "I've been busy with a lot of things lately, so I don't really have a lot of time to spare to work on _this_. _Anyway_ , in addition to everyone from the airships, there's already a bunch of people milling about the courtyard in front of the _steampunk castle_ -" He raised an eyebrow at Barb, daring her to comment. "-all carrying weapons of varying designs and functions. Lindsey, roll a d8 for Reaction."

"Kay!" Clatter. "8."

"You're really excited about all the weapons the students are carrying, squeeing because it's so hard to keep your excitement contained.

"I go to follow who I think has the coolest looking weapon!"

"And _I_ hold her back before she can run off," Barb said.

"Aw...why?!"

"Because I need to dole out some sisterly advice before we go our separate ways. You know, don't take candy from strangers, always brush you teeth after meals, make new friends, try to win, and the like."

"Seriously Barb, stop embarrassing me...," Lindsey pouted, blushing slightly. "And what do you mean 'we go our separate way'? I thought we were gonna be a team and kick butt together?"

"Linds, you can't always rely on me whenever you get shy, eventually you need to spread your wings and take flight on your own." She turned to Monty, "I quickly look around to see if I spot anyone I know."

"Roll Observation."

Clatter.

"4."

"You manage to spot a small group of people you recognize from your previous school, though they were only passing acquaintances then."

"Good enough for me; I shoot Lindsey a quick goodbye and dash over to say hi to my friends."

"'Acquaintances'."

"Whatever." She rolled her d12. "11! Sweet!"

"You run off so fast that your slipstream leaves Lindsey spinning in its wake. Lindsey, roll Land- _Recovery_ ," he said, noticing Kara glaring at him.

Clatter.

"...dammit, 1."

"All the spinning makes you dizzy, and after a couple seconds you fall into a luggage cart and can I help you with something, Kara?" he asked, returning Kara's glare (which she had not let up).

"Yes," she said. "I was under the impression that this was going to be an all inclusive group, so why has it only been those three-" She gestured to Lindsey, Barb, and Miles. "-who are getting all the attention; shouldn't Arryn and I have a chance to contribute to the game too?"

"Speak for yourself," Arryn retorted, breaking her self imposed silence, "I'm just here because I _literally_ have nothing better to do tonight."

"...whatever, my point still stands!"

"...OK, _fine_ ," Monty relented, "The luggage Lindsey falls into are white cases, all bearing _your_ symbol, _Kara._ "

"Thank you. I stomp over to Lindsey." She then cleared her throat and turned to Lindsey, "'Watch where you're going, _peasant_!'"

"Uh..." Lindsey was slightly taken aback by Kara's sudden outburst. "I'm...sorry?"

"'Sorry'? Do you have the slightly _inkling_ of the damage you could have caused just now?!'"

"Hey!" Barb called, "Don't bully my sister!"

"It's called 'roleplaying'," Kara rebutted, "something of which I haven't had a chance to to _do_ until now and need to make up for lost time." She turned back to Lindsey, "Well, how does your character respond?"

Lindsey thought for a moment before responding. "'...Noooooo?' Also, I try to help pick up the cases."

"And I immediately snatch the one she goes for away from her take out a bottle of red Dust. 'You see this?' I ask, waving the bottle in her face, 'It's Dust from the quarry my family owns! It's highly volatile, even after it's been purified, and-'"

"Hang on," Monty interrupted, "you said you were waving the bottle in her face?"

"Yes, I'm trying to be as obnoxious and condescending as possible."

"Then do me a favor and roll a d10, will you?"

Clatter. "4. And the purpose of that was...?"

"To see how tight the bottle's seal is, and it's just loose enough that a small cloud of particles escapes with every shake you make. Lindsey, roll Recovery."

Clatter. "3."

"All the clouds do is tickle your nose a bit, causing you to sneeze."

"...Really, that's all?"

"Which ignites the Dust, causing a small explosion. Both of you roll Recovery

Clatter.

"Really? A _2_?!"

"I got 6."

"Kara gets caught in it, but it's nothing your Aura can't handle. However, you drop the bottle and it rolls away."

"Can I get in on this action?" Arryn asked, "This is actually starting to get slightly fun."

"Not a problem. The bottle comes to stop at your feet."

"I pick it up and examine it."

"And I start berating Lindsey for being so clumsy," Kara interjected.

"And _I_ finally get fed up with how she's treating me!" Lindsey added.

Monty nodded approvingly. "So what does that look like?"

"Hmm...," Kara tapped her chin, "'How about 'You dolt! This is exactly what I was talking about! Why are you even here, anyway? This is a school for _warriors,_ not a _kindergarten_!'"

"'Hey, I have as much right to be here as you do, _Princess!'_ "

"Aaaand that's when I make my entrance. I say 'Actually, she's an heiress, of the one of the largest Dust and energy propellant production companies in the world.'"

Kara raised a suspicious eyebrow. "How do you know all that?"

"Because that's what you wrote on your character sheet," Arryn said, holding up the offending piece of paper. "You knocked it off the table during when you were yelling at Barb earlier."

"You- Give me that!" She snatched her sheet back, "Don't go looking at other people's character sheets without asking!"

"It was on the floor!"

"Ladies, do I have to ask you to leave?" Monty admonished.

"No..."

"I'm cool."

"Good. Now, let's continue. Arryn, do you have anything else to add in character?"

"No, I want to see how she reacts."

"Very well," Kara nodded, "I acknowledge the well deserved recognition I'm receiving."

"I continue, 'The same company that mistreats its Faunus workforce and shares a bed with a number of shady business partners.'"

"And _I_ storm off, insulted by the insinuations made by this...peasant!"

Lindsey interjected, "'I'll find a way to make it up to you!' I call after her."

"I ignore her, if I even managed to hear her."

"Well, hopefully my character won't have to see _her_ for a long time. So Arryn...wanna be friends?"

Arryn tapped her chin, pretending to think about the offer. "Tempting...but I think I'll just slip away unnoticed. Like a boss."

"Roll basic action," Monty said.

Clatter. "9."

"Roll to save, Lindsey."

Clatter. "4."

"You turn to talk to Arryn, only to find her already a good distance away."

"Aw..."

"Don't worry Linds," Barb said, patting Lindsey on the shoulder, "they're not the only players in this game."

"You abandoned me too!" she gently reminded her sister.

"Who abandoned who?" Miles asked, sitting back down.

"Where'd you slink off to?" Barb asked. "Come to think of it, _when_ did you slink off?"

"I needed to use the little boys room, and about the time Lindsey bumped into Kara," he explained. ("I didn't even notice," Lindsey said.) "So what'd I miss?"

"Nobody likes me...," Lindsey moaned, letting her head hang.

"Wow...I mean, Kara and Arryn I can sort of understand, but I thought Barb was your sister?"

"Rude," Arryn quipped. Kara huffed.

"No," she clarified, "I mean my character is all alone and nobody wants to be around her."

"Oh. Well...what's my character doing right now?"

"Probably still by that trash can you were puking into earlier," Monty said.

"Do I notice...whatever went on with Lindsey and them?"

"I'd imagine; explosions are kinda hard not to notice."

"Then I make my way over to Lindsey. Do I need to roll to find her?"

"That depends on what Lindsey's doing after Arryn walks off."

"I'm just sitting on the ground, wishing I was back home," she says.

"Then you don't need to roll."

"OK then. I offer her a hand up and introduce myself."

"Act it out."

"Alrighty." He turned to Lindsey, "'Hey there, Wallflower. Need a hand?'"

"'...You know, why not?' I accept his hand up and ask 'Weren't you the guy throwing up?'"

"I try to bluff."

"Roll basic action."

Clatter. "3."

"You try to think of an excuse for your nausea, but nothing comes to mind."

"Fine... 'Yeah, that was me. But in my defense, lots of people get airsick They probably just don't like to admit it...'"

"'That's alright, I haven't really had the best time since coming here either.'"

"'Yeah, I saw the mushroom cloud before.'"

"'...was it really that bad?'"

"'No no! It was only... _slightly_ catastrophic?'"

There was an awkward silence.

"Um..." Lindsey dug out her miniature again and set it on the table. "You never showed me your mini," she said, forgetting the role play in a desperate attempt to break the awkwardness.

Now it was Miles' turn to feel awkward, as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Um..."

Lindsey looked at him pleadingly.

"... _fine_!" He reaching into his coat pocket and pulled out a yellow toy knight.

Kara chuckled. "Did you steal that from your younger brother?"

"NO! ...it's my younger sister's..."

Everyone began chuckling at that.

"Oh like yours are any better!"

Lindsey pushed hers closer in response.

"I had mine custom made," Kara said, placing a wooden case on the table and opened it up, revealing an exquisitely made glass figurine, holding a tiny fencing rapier.

"Whoa...!" Lindsey marveled.

"I just cobbled a couple figma together," Arryn explained, revealing her figure.

"Is that supposed to be Zatana from the Justice League?" Miles asked.

"Yeah. We had a couple left over from a promotion we were doing at the comic show I work at, so I grabbed one and gave it a tiny sword."

"So then what's with the bow?" Barb asked.

"Because I wanted my character to wear a bow," she said, glaring dangerously at the blonde, "What's it to you?"

Barb held her hands up in surrender, "Nothing whatsoever!"

"Ooh, show them yours!" Lindsey urged, tapping her sister on the shoulder rapidly.

"Alright, geez!" She reached into her own bag and pulled out a little Barbie doll with an aviator's jacket and boxing gloves. "Lindsey made this one too," she stated.

"You know, why don't we just skip ahead a bit?" Monty suggested, flipping through something behind his screen, "As fascinating as this is, I'd rather not stay here until midnight."

Kara nodded, "I agree; I have a recital coming up in a few days and I need to practice."

"Really? What do you play?" Lindsey asked.

"I sing."

"...maybe we can come and watch?"

Kara thought for a moment.

"...no," she said, before turning to Monty, "So how far ahead are we skipping?"

 _to be continued..._

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

 _...And after we finally got out of the hole, we got away from the Mad King before he could make us his new Edgar, safely returning the zombie Vern to his parents, who were already in the middle of attacking the village._

" _That's...something, at least," Mississippi said after listening to the Author's narrative, "but what does returning a baby zombie to its parents and this 'People Like Grapes soda' stuff have to do with your tricolored friend's tendency to beat up mobile devices?"_

 _Gigi: Qiqiqi qi qii qiqiqii qiqi._

" _Ah, OK," the space marine nods, grateful for the reality defying plushie's explanation. She'd seen a lot of weird things in her life, what with being part of Project Freelancer and everything that happened afterward (including her brief tenure with the Red and Blue simulation troopers) but she could honestly say that the two humans and one living doll (which she could still understand, despite her only speaking monosyllabically, for some weird reason) were going to be a whole new kind of crazy for her. She turns to the one called "Neo", "My condolences."_

 **You're thanks are not necessary, _Her Ladyship informs the ugly soldier girl with man hands-_** _*whackwhackwhack*_ **...I've learned to cope.**

 _Gigi: *shakes head sadly* Qi qiqiqii..._

 **I have so! _the Composed and Mentally Sound Magic Neo protests, sticking her bottom lip out in the most adorable of pouts at the Stuffed One with Spunk._**

" _...Dude," she stage whispers to the Author, "I don't know whether your life is awesome or terrible."_

 _Hmm...for safety reasons, I'm going to say "awesome", because Neo and Gigi could both pound me into the dirt if they wanted._

 _Gigi: Qi qi._

 **I agree, that _was_ a smart move.**

 _Mississippi lets out a resigned sigh, "Then I guess I should start getting used to this; I'm just glad I'm not constantly getting shot at anymore."_

 _also to be continued..._


	4. Now everybody's here

_*In the last Author's Note*_

" _I'm just glad I'm not constantly getting shot at anymore."_

 _*And now, the continuation!*_

 _Gigi: *bugeyes*_

 **...come again?**

 _I am completely shocked by the totally unforeseen revelation!_

 _Mississippi stared at the trio dumbly. She counted off, "I'm a space marine wearing badass, Lightish Red super armor, you found me in a crater outside, and I almost killed you guy before Dolly here-"_

 _Gigi: *enunicates*_ Qi-qi!

" _-whatever!" she snapped, "The point is that I would have pulverized you all if the plushie hadn't stepped in; given those facts, how is it hard to believe I could have been in combat before I ended up here?"_

 _...well when you put it like that, we_ do _seem a little dense for not thinking of it._

 _Gigi: *nods slowly yet assuredly*_

 **...I already knew that.**

 _So anyway, we shared our backstory with you, wanna tell us why you nearly made us into street pizza?_

 **It's the least you could do, in light of that, _prompts the Still Sore and Miffed Magical Neo._**

" _Maybe some other time," she breathed, "but right now, I just wanna do something relaxing. Whada you guys do for fun around here?"_

 _Good question...well, we haven't been to El Pizza Bandito's in a while, anyone up for a slice?_

 _Gigi: Qi!_

 **Sure.**

" _Pizza...actually sounds great right about now."_

 _Great! Let's head over there now! *turns to readers* Enjoy the chapter in the mean time!_

 __/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_

" _...so how far ahead are we skipping?"_

"Not far," Monty replied, "just to the commencement ceremonies. By now you've all made your way to the main building, where-"

He was interrupted when the gym doors opened and Jen walked back in, a couple grocery bags slung over her arm.

"Sorry for taking so long," she apologized, setting the bags on the table, "I figured you'd all like some snacks, since we might be here for a while. What'd I miss?"

"Not much," Miles supplied, "stuff happened and we're gonna listen to a boring speech. What's up with your friend?"

"She's on her way, but she got a little turned around and I had to give her detailed directions. She's...she can be a bit scatterbrained, though she means well."

"She sounds fun," Barb said.

"She sounds like she'll be disruptive," Kara countered. "Let's just get on with the game, OK?"

"Whatever," Monty shrugged. While he found his place again Jen sat down and began distributing the snacks. "Now, like I was saying, by this point you've all assembled in the School's auditorium, along with everyone else from the ships. While a large room in and of itself, the sheer amount of people inside make it more than a little crowded. It- Thanks, Jen. -it's sort of hard to move through the massive volume of people."

"I want to remain unseen," Arryn said. "Is that a basic action or a Stunt because of the huge crowd?"

"I'm going to say...Stunt, in this case. Roll for Stunt."

Clatter. "16."

"OK. And..." Clatter. "...you remain inconspicuous and no one pays you any special mind." He turned to everyone else, "And that includes you guys too, unless anyone wants to try looking for her."

"Do I see my sister?" Lindsey asked.

Monty shook his head, "Not unless she was deliberately trying to get your attention, the crowds are pretty dense."

"I do that then," Barb piped up, "I feel kinda bad about having my character abandon hers, especially with how _unfriendly_ Kara and Arryn are being."

"I was going for 'aloof and mysterious'," Arryn explained indignantly, while Kara merely huffed, taking a sip from a bottle of flavored water Jen handed her.

"Whatever, I'm rolling." Clatter. "8."

"Barb, please wait for me to say what to roll," Monty admonished, muttering under his breath _"It must be a family thing..._ Anyway, I'm counting that as your Observation roll so we can move on. Roll for basic action."

Barb rolled her d12 again. "9 this time."

"You spot Lindsey in the crowd and wave to get her attention. Roll for Observation, Lindsey."

Clatter. "8 too. As in, 'also'."

"I got it. You see Barb waving from the crowd."

"'I saved you a spot!' I call to her," Barb said.

"I say bye to miles and head over to where Barb is."

"And I allow it so I can dig into my grub," said Miles, popping open another grape soda. The sisters then started roleplaying.

"'Sup Linds, how's School life treating you?'"

"'Well, after you _abandoned me_ I crashed into a luggage cart, got yelled at by a crabby chic, and she shook some Dust in my face, and I exploded, and I think she did too, and then she yelled at me some more, and I just wanna go home!'"

"'Geez Linds...if I'd have known you'd get such crappy rolls I would have stayed with you.'"

"Hey!" Kara shouted, "No breaking the forth wall!"

"Well _excuse me, princess!_ " Barb scoffed, "Forgive me for actually having fun!"

"Well, try to have fun without breaking immersion," the platinum blonde consented. She turned to Monty, "I want to go over to them and give them a piece of my mind."

"Roll for Observation."

Clatter. "7."

"You notice them to the side of you and walk..." Clatter. "...behind them."

"I tell Lindsey 'You're lucky it was only a small amount of Dust that exploded, otherwise we could have been blow right off the cliff!"

"Wait, _was_ there even a cliff?" Lindsey asked.

"Monty's notes say that the Academy is build on top of a cliff side, with the courtyard we were in just next to the landing pad, which, obviously, is suspended over the side of the cliff."

Lindsey turned to Monty for conformation.

"...Essentially."

"Oh. Well, I try to apologize for exploding us before, even though _she_ was the reason it happened at all!" Kara glared at her. "Um...that last part wasn't in character?" she explained sheepishly.

"Roll basic action," Monty said.

Clatter. "5. ...is that bad?"

"Only if Kara gets a higher Save roll. Kara?"

Clatter. "4."

"Lindsey, you try to make Kara understand that it was only an accident. Kara gets the gist of what you're saying, but hands you a pamphlet entitled 'The IDIOTS Guide to Dust' and tells you to read it and not speak to her again if you want to make things right."

Lindsey shot Kara a glare. "Hey!"

"Blame Monty, I didn't tell him any of that!"

"That's just the way the dice fall, ladies. Now-"

"I lean in and say 'Can't we all just get along?'" Barb interrupted.

"Do you _actually_ say that?" a disbelieving Arryn asked.

"I do, actually, to try and lighten the mood. Then I say, 'Look, _clearly_ you guys got off on the wrong foot, so how about you try starting over?'"

"Ooh, good idea!" Lindsey praised before turning to Kara. "'Sorry for exploding us, do you think we can still be friends? Maybe hang out sometime? Shop for school surprise?'"

"'And we could paint our _nails_ , and try on _clothes_ , and talk about cute boys!'" Kara said in a mocking imitation of a Valley Girl voice. "'Like...anyone other than Miles.'"

"Hey!"

"Are you serious?" Lindsey asked. "I'm asking this both in and out of character."

"Neither I or my character is serious," Kara said in a condescending manner, "Try to keep up, OK?"

"Ladies...," Monty warned. "So before this escalates any further, the Headmaster steps onto a podium and taps the microphone to get everyone's attention. 'I'll keep this brief,' he says, clearing his throat. 'You've all come here to learn stuff and do better than you're currently doing, but all I see is wasted energy. You all think that you'll get answers for free, but wait a week and see how far that thinking gets you.'"

"...So you know that thing I said about the Good Witch's speech?" asked Arryn, "Yeah, the exact opposite applies for this one."

"Work in progress!?" Monty reminded her, flipping through something behind his screen. "Now it looks like nothing much else happens until the next morning, let's skip right to the next day, OK?"

Everyone nodded their consent.

Before they could continue, the gym doors opened and a girl with fuzzy, ginger hair strutted in, loudly announcing "What's up, party people? 'Samish' is in da house!"

" _'Samish'_?" Lindsey wondered.

"Her 'street name'," Jen explained, making air quotes. "She's..." she tried to continue, unable to come up with an explanation that _didn't_ paint her friend in a derogatory light.

"An annoying white girl poser?" Kara supplied bluntly.

"Yo," Sam said to Kara, "don't be hatin', K-fizzle-"

"Never call me that again."

"-It's not my fault I'm just so naturally fly!"

"There's a spot over here," Monty said, gesturing to a spot at the table next to him; he could tell right away that Kara and Sam's personalities were _not_ compatible with each other. "Why don't we take a short break while I get Sam here up to speed?"

"Sound's good to me," said Miles. "I need to take a leak."

"How much soda did you drink?" Lindsey asked.

"Not much, maybe three...four cans or so?"

Barb tapped her sister on the shoulder, "Hey Linds, got a minute?"

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

"What's wrong?" Lindsey asked as Barb lead her over to the bleachers. She didn't really have good experiences on the bleachers, which was usually where she ended up during free periods. While the other kids would chat by the lockers, or check in with their clubs, or sneak off to an empty classroom to make out, she usually found her way to the gym and would wait for next period playing Pokemon or catching up on her comic books. Not that she didn't try (sometimes...) to hang out with other people, but she either couldn't work up the courage to talk to the interesting ones, and the "cool" ones always shot her down.

Sufficed to say, she wasn't looking forward to this.

"Nothing's wrong," Barb said, "I just wanted to know how you're doing. You know, since you kinda tried to make like Road Runner and dash out of here before."

Lindsey shrugged, "I'm doing OK."

"Cool, cool. You uh...you think you might want to hang out with any of these guys after this?"

"I don't know. I mean, I don't not like any of them, but I don't think they'll like _me_ very much..."

"What! Why would you think that?" she asked.

"Because no one _ever_ wants to hang out with me! I'm the geeky girl with hand-me-down clothes who's always reading comic books and playing Gameboy while laughing at weird moments; _I_ wouldn't want to hang out with me if I saw me."

Barb was taken aback by Lindsey's answer. She knew her sister had a hard time every since her mother passed away, but she normally seemed chipper and happy!

Then again, sometimes Barb could be a little oblivious when it came to how her sister was feeling when things weren't explicitly spelled out for her.

"Besides," Lindsey continued, "I already have friends online that I talk to, I don't need any new ones complicating things. So, could you please stop forcing me to go to parties and stuff?"

Barb sighed. "OK, I guess I can stop pushing you so hard to meet people...but you have to promise me that you'll make an actually, on your own, to make some friends. It'll give me some piece of mind."

"...alright," the fifteen year old relented. Then a mischievous smirk crept its way onto her face, "So...Kara's kind of a bitch, huh?"

Barb squeaked in shock; her sister and swearing normally went together like peanut butter and rocks. "Where'd you hear that?!" she demanded.

"From you, when you were watching the Superbowl last year, among other words."

"*ahem!*"

Barb and Lindsey turned to see Kara standing there, looking rather irate.

" _Who's_ a bitch?" she asked.

"Um...the newslady?" Lindsey said, hoping it only _felt_ like she was sweating.

"On the 8:00 news," Barb added seamlessly, "If you ask me, she always goes out of her way to antagonize minorities, what with how she tends to-"

"Save it." Kara put her hand up, silencing the blonde. "Monty's done explaining things to MC Sam-a-lot and we're going to get on with the game, if that's alright with the two of you?"

Both girls nodded, "'Kay, we'll be right there."

 _to be concluded!_

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

" _Uh muh gub!"_ _Mississippi exclaimed, shoveling the faux Italian treat into her mouth like there was no tomorrow, "Dif if duh beft piffa I'f efver had!"_

 _Gigi: Qiqi qiqiqiqiqi qii..._

 **So uncivilized..., _Her Ladyship sneers, huffily popping an olive from her salad into her sensuous mouth._**

 _Yeah, I've always liked El Pizza Bandito's pizza the best too! Not to say that other pizza places aren't good, but there's just something about_ this _pizza that just speaks to me on a personal level. Though the owner reminds me of that guy from the Achieve Men._

 _Gigi: Qi qiqii qi?_

 _No, the fat one of the beard._

 _Mississippi swallowed and cleared her throat, "Uh, guys? The other customers are all staring at me, do you think I should have changed out of my power armor before we came here?"_

 _Ah, don't worry about it! Last week the owner spent an entire day dressed as a polar bear while he served food, so this kind of thing isn't out of the ordinary._

" _Actually," she said, something dawning on her, "that doesn't sound too different from what Secretary of Intelligence Caboose did for Secretary of Violence Sarge's birthday party..."_

 **This "Caboose" person sounds like an idiot, _deduces the Astute and Cunning Magical Neo._**

" _Hey!" the space marine shouted, "He's a war hero and without him and his friends the galaxy would have been doomed!"_

 **Oh? _Her Ladyship counters,_ Then why was he wearing a bear costume?**

" _It was actually a fish costume," she corrected the Lightish Red themed girl, blushing slightly, "and he only did it because he somehow confused 'the help' with 'the halibut'..."_

 _Um...why don't we all go for desert now? Because I could sure go for some of Neo's patented "eb ton dluohs that gnihT ehT" ice cream right about now!_

 _Gigi: Qi qiiqi qiqiqiqiqi._

" _Dorito Daoloth Dynamite"_ does _sound interesting, but I'ma stick with my staple._

 **I'm still waiting for some feedback on "Nutty Nyarlothep Crunch".**

 _Then to Neopolitan's we go!_

 _also to be concluded!_


	5. Air Initiation

_Hey everyone, we're back! I'm The Layman!_

 _Gigi: Qi qiqi!_

 **I'm Neo, _reiterates the Immaculate and Infinitely Superior Magical Neo._**

" _And my name's Mississippi," Mississippi said, looking perplexed as she did, "...why did I have to do that again?"_

 _For the people reading this at home. How's your ice cream?_

" _It's OK," she shrugged, "but it's not really my thing; I've never really been a big fan of nuts."_

 **I'm** **letting you eat here on the house, _the Marvelous and Charitable Magical Neo charitably informs the stupid, manish trick,_ you could show a little gratitude. **

_Gigi: *glares at Neo warningly* Qiqii, qiqiqi._

 _Whoa there, I'm sensing a bit of hostility emanating from you, Neo; if it's about your new flavor, I thought it tasted good._

" _I've been getting bad vibes from her for some time now," Mississippi pointed out. Ever since she regained consciousness (after being soundly clocked on the head by the plushie) she'd noticed the tricolored girl sending glares, sneers, and the more than infrequent snark her way. And aside from trying to kill them (which she already apologized profusely for) she couldn't think of any other reason why she'd be so hostile. "...Did I do something to offend her?"_

 _Gigi: *shrugs* Qiqi qiqiqi qii._

 _Well, why don't let the people at home at home read the next chapter while we get to the bottom of this. Gigi, would you mind being the neutral third party?_

 _Gigi: *is now wearing glasses and holding a clipboard, sitting in a fancy leather chair* Qi qi!_

 _OK then! *turns to readers* Enjoy the chapter, everyone!_

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

"Put me in, Coach," Sam was saying as Lindsey, Barb, and Kara returned to their seats, "I'm ready to druh-druh-druh- _drop the bass_!"

"I'm leaving if she does," Kara declared.

"Let's keep the bass _un_ dropped for the moment, OK Sam?" Monty admonished gently. "Are you sure you have a handle on how everything works?" She flashed him the "A-OK" sign. "Good, then let's continue. ...where'd Arryn go?"

"She went to use the restroom," Jen explained, "She should be back in a few minutes."

"Then I'll just get started. Now, it's the next day, and all of you have been gathered on a cliff overlooking a verdant wood, stretching out for miles before you. In the distance there's a rocky hill with what looks like old stone structures of some kind."

"Can we make out what they are?" Lindsey wondered.

Monty shook his head, "No they're too far away to make out any details with the naked eye. The Headmaster and the Good Witch are there as well, the former stating 'You've all trained for many years to become warriors, and now, we'll see how that goes.' Good Witch chimes in 'You will also be assigned into partnerships, which will last for the duration of your stay at the Academy.'"

"How's that gonna work?" asked Barb.

"Actually, I'm glad you asked." He chucked the Cinderella's Castle back into his bag and grabbed a rolled up map from a different bag and spread it out on the table. Then he placed a tiny gazebo near one end of the map. "The way this works is everyone is going to be launched into the forest, obviously rolling for Landing, and whoever you meet up with first, that's your assigned partner. Afterwards, make your way to these _ancient stone ruins_ ," he shot a warning glance at Barb, "where each pair will grab one of the tokens you'll find there. Each pair with matching tokens becomes a Party, which also lasts until the end of your time at the Academy."

"So when do we get to fight stuff?" Sam asked, a manic excitement twinkling in her eyes.

"I'm getting that, don't worry." He pointed at a bunch gray circles lined up on one end of the map, "Everyone, put your miniatures over here." They did. "Now, you guys are going to roll your d10's and d6's, and that will determine how far and in which direction your characters are launched."

"Excuse you?!" Kara balked, grabbing her figurine back, "I paid good money for this thing and I don't want to have to replace it!"

Lindsey also began subtly pulling her own self made figure away from the map.

"Don't worry," Monty assured the group, "I wasn't actually going to toss you miniatures across the table." He reached under the table and pulled out a shoe box, setting it in the within everyone's reach; inside were a bunch little plastic toys, knights and action figures and animals and the like. "Go ahead and pick on to use on the map," he offered.

Lindsey immediately dug into the box and pulled out a little cloaked Ranger missing its bow. "I'll take this one!" she declared.

"This one's mine!" Barb said, holding up a tiny biker.

"Mine's cooler!" Sam held up a miniature Thor toy, flashing what a appeared to be a gang sign next to it, "Booyah!"

"I don't think it matters which is 'cooler'," Jen said diplomatically as she grabbed a tiny Spartan warrior.

Kara ended up picking a Polly Pocket that had a bad case of sun bleach, effectively turning its once yellow colors a shade of off white. "Where did you get all these, anyway?" she asked.

"Mostly thrift stores," he said, "though some of these are mine from when I was younger."

"And you just kept them all these years?"

He shrugged, "Sentimental reasons."

"You know," Miles said as he rummaged through the box, "I think I'm gust gonna stick with the one I brought; none of these are really any better."

"...how about this one?" Jen suggested, holding up a knight that was smalled than the one he brought, but much more detailed.

"Nah, I'm good."

"So what now?" Lindsey asked, placing her new figure back on the gray circles.

"Now you roll your dice," Monty said, "the d10 is for distance, and the d6 is for direction. Also, you're all going to have to roll for Landing."

"Should we go in any particular order or simply all at once?" Barb asked.

" _I'll_ go first." Kara immediately followed up her declaration with a roll of her dice. "6 and 2 respectively, and a 7 for the Landing," she said.

Monty wrote something down behind his screen. "OK, put your piece here." He pointed to a spot on the map. "Sam? You go next."

"True dat, Monty-Q," she said, "rollin' like a _ballah_!" Clatter. "5, 6, and 6."

"OK. ...Jen?"

Clatter. "6, 4, and 8," she said.

"...Barb?"

Clatter. "Oh yeah; 8, 1, and 8! ...Wait, is that 1 good or bad?"

"It's good," he explained, "It basically means that you didn't break left or right during your air time."

"Oh, cool!"

"Come on," Lindsey chanted under her breath, "gimme a good roll!" Clatter. "...6, 2, and 5."

"...Alright. Miles, you're up."

"Piece of cake!" Clatter. "...6, 3, and 2. Well, that blows."

"Ooooh, tough break," Lindsey said, reaching over to pat him on the shoulder.

"Is there any way to help him survive the landing?" Jen asked. She gestured to the map, "He's not going to land that far from the rest of us."

Monty thought for a moment. "I guess, it depends on what you can come up with."

However, before the redhead could propose anything, the gym doors opened again, and in walked the school janitor, wheeling in a cart with all the typical janitorial accoutrement on it.

"Sorry tah bother you kids," the elderly custodian said, "but it's almost 8 o'clock, an' I need tah start closing down the building."

"Whoa," marveled Barb, "I didn't realize it was getting so late!" She immediately started gathering up her things and tugged Lindsey along with her as she headed for the exit, "See you guys later, Linds and I need to get back home!"

"W-wait a minute!" the young redhead protested, struggling against her sister's iron grip, "Lemme get my stuff!"

"Huh...," Kara noted, looking at the time on her phone, "I wasn't aware it had gotten so late."

"That's sort of a symptom of roll-playing games," Monty explained, packing up his screen, "if you don't watch the clock you can end up going for hours at a time."

"There!" Lindsey zipped up her backpack and slung it over her shoulder, jogging back over to Barb. "Oh!" she exclaimed as an thought came to her. "When's the next game gonna be?" she asked Monty.

"Probably not for another month or so," he shrugged, "I'll text your sister when I know for sure."

"Kay!" She waved to everyone, "See you guys later, tell Arryn I said bye!"

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

"So that was actually pretty fun," Barb said as she leaned her bike into the turn, nearly skidding into a street sign in the process. Despite helping Monty set the whole thing up, she'd had her doubt that she would actually have a good time. After all, she was a sports girl, she had fun scoring touchdowns and dunking baskets; who would have thunk a game for nerds and losers (her sister not included) would have been so enjoyable!

And despite her older sister's crazy driving, Lindsey was also riding high on her excitement from the evening.

"I know, right! I mean, it kinda started out slow, but next ti- Car!" Barb swerved to avoid a sedan in front of them. "But next time," she continued as though nothing happened, "things are _totally_ gonna pick up, I can tell! Ooh! I wonder what kind of of monsters we'll have to fight next time? I hope it's dragons, that would be _so awesome_! Cause, in D &D, even though it's called 'Dungeons and _Dragons'_ , you never really actually fight any- Car! -dragons!"

"Heh, I'll take you word for it." As she slowed to a stop at a red light, the blonde turned back to look at her sister. "So...how about you?" she asked, despite already knowing the answer, "Did you have a good time?"

"Um, _doi_!" she said, "Pfft! Do you even need to _ask_?"

Barb shrugged, "Well, you had a distinctly different attitude when we first got there, so I was just wondering."

Lindsey thought for a moment. "Well...I guess I wasn't really having fun at first. You know, what with your character _abandoning_ mine-"

Barb chuckled guiltily.

"-Kara being a stuck up, and Arryn sorta giving me the cold shoulder...but Jen's nice- I mean, she bought us all snacks for crying out loud! -Miles is cool in a dorky kinda way, and Sam is...interesting."

Barb accelerated as the light turned green. "So do you think you'd like to hang out with them outside of the game?"

"Nah! They're nice and all, but I don't think hanging out with them would be good for my social life."

Barb successfully suppressed a good natured scoff. She knew (by her sister's own admission) that Lindsey didn't have much of a social life outside of her Internet friends. Honestly, she would have pushed the issue, but considering how well her last attempt at forcing her step-sister to socialize went, that would probably do more harm than good at this point.

 _She'll come around eventually,_ the blonde thought to herself, _I can wait._

"Uh, Barb?" Lindsey said, tapping Barb on the shoulder.

"Yeah, Linds?"

"You just passed our street."

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

 _Well, the building is still here, so Neo hasn't gone into a blood rage yet._

 _Mississippi scratched her head. "Is that a thing she usually does?" she asked._

 _Not really, but she_ is _able to summon unspeakable Eldritch horrors from beyond the pale. And [apparently] considering the last time she did was_ accidental _, I'm not too keen on finding out what she can do on purpose._

 _The space marine nodded, not really sure how to process that information. The sentient plushie had mentioned something a "Thing that Should Not Be" earlier, but hadn't expounded on it any. From what she knew about the H.P. Lovecraft book (which wasn't really all that much), she knew that Cthulu and the gang were bad news, and wasn't really interested in meeting any of the Deep Ones in person. "How did they deal with it the first time?"_

 _*shrugs* They said something about Ebooks and "Groovy", but outside of that they won't tell me anything._

 _*Gigi and Neo then walk out from her makeshift "office"; a hurriedly constructed pillow fort*_

 _Gigi: Qiqi qiqiqiiqi, qiqiqi qi qiqiqi. *points to The Layman* Qiiqi qiqiqi- *points to Mississippi* -qiqiqiqi qi._

" _Really? But I only just met you guys," she protested, "I haven't even had time to develop feelings one way or the other for him, especially romantic ones!"_

 _...scuzé_

 **Apparently I can be quite territorial, _sheepishly informs the Proud and Unapologetic Magical Neo, currently formulating a way to permanently end the fugly-_** * _WHACKWHACKWHACKWHACK!_ * **...I was previously unaware I had this side to myself.**

" _That...definitely explains some things...," Mississippi noted._

 _Sooo...what's it gonna take to convince you that Mississippi isn't going to steal me away from you?_

 **Admissions that neither of you find the other desirable would be a good start, _Her Ladyship suggests._**

" _OK then, I don't find him especially attractive," the super soldier stated, putting her fingers up in the universe sign for "Scout's Honor", "and for good measure I promise not try and steal him from you. That good?"_

 **...I'll hold you to that, _warns the Grudge Holding and Spiteful Magical Neo, giving..."Mississippi" a monitorial glance._**

 _Gigi: *looks expectantly at The Layman* ...Qi qi?_

 _Um, well...with how Neo worded the question and all...I can't honestly I don't find her desirable._

 _Gigi: *all of the headsmacks*_

 **I see...b-b-baka! _declares the Heartbroken and Totally Not Tsundere Magical Neo, rushing out the door._**

 _Gigi: Qii... *drags The Layman behind her* Qiqi qiqiiqii qi!_

 _Whoa, not so hard! *quickly turns back to Mississippi* Feel free watch some TV while we deal with this, there's movies and stuff underneath!_

 _To be continued..._


	6. Mississippi backstory Interlude

_They've been gone a good while now,_ Mississippi mused to herself as she waited for her..."strange" would be underselling these people a bit. Granted, the Reds and Blues had been their own special brand of strange in the time she'd known them, but they didn't have an 8 inch tall, walking and talking plushie and an ice-cream themed girl with possession issues, so this new group was currently in the lead.

She sighed, leaning back on the surprisingly supportive couch. She was bored, and despite "The Layman" having a considerable movie and TV collection, none of it catered to her own tastes. (It was mostly anime and arthouse movies, with a sprinkling of hardcore action movies thrown in for good measure.

"Would it kill the guy to watch some good comedy?" she said aloud, glancing over at the movie cabinet under the TV.

Unable to think of anything better to do, she laid back and closed her eyes, hoping to catch a few Z's before the Oddball trio returned.

Just before she drifted off into Dreamland it dawned on her just how tired she actually was...

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

 _Mississippi gunned the throttle on the motorcycle she stole, weaving in between the other vehicles in an effort to lose her pursuers. They were abnormally persistent, often barreling into the other cars to keep pace with her._

 _She swerved out of the way of a semi truck, nearly loosing hold of the "package" she'd appropriated._

 _'Dammit!', she cursed to herself, 'They put the damn thing in a case, but they couldn't give it a handle? HOW have these guys not been overrun before now?'_

 _While she was trying to fathom the odd design choices of her recent acquisition, her pursuers decided that she warranted stronger measures than simply tailing her. One of the goons leaned out of the recently renamed "Puma", aiming and firing a rocket launcher at her._

" _End of the line!" the goon shouted as the rockets exploded around her, some causing the other cars to either swerve into the partition or even flip over._

 _'Well,' she reasoned, 'at least that guy's a terrible shot-'_

 _Then he dropped the rocket launcher and pulled out a weird looking purple...thing, with glowing Lightish Red crystals sticking out of the top._

 _Then two more goons popped out of the back of the Puma with the same weapons._

 _'Oh, come on!'_

" _Cali," she said into her helmet's mic, "where's that backup you promised?"_

"Working on it!" _came the reply, accompanied by the staccato of gunfire,_ "Not like I'm the only on sneaking into a heavily guarded area while the facility is currently om high alert or anything!"

" _Well work faster! I've got Needlers on my Six, and this package is_ really _difficult to hold on to! ...Col, tell me better things than Cali did!"_

"Take the next exit, I can work something up."

" _Thanks, Col!" She swerved as crystals flew past her, exploding in a Lightish Red fireball as they impacted a car._

 _Mississippi spotted the ext ahead and quickly turned down the ramp and onto the main road. It was even more congested than the highway. Not surprising, since none of the civilians wanted to get caught up in her little spat, and probably figured the case would be confined highway and the lower roads would be safer. Unfortunately, they were proven wrong._

 _Fortunately for her, the congestion worked to her advantage, allowing her more cover from her pursuers and while making it harder for them to follow. It was a good tactic._

 _That is, unless they didn't have a problem using the sidewalks to circumvent all the extra cars, which is what they did._

 _'What the hell is in this case?' she wondered as she weaved in front of a utility van, a bunch of the Lightish Red crystals sticking into the side of it._

" _Col, how's that thing coming?"_

"Turn right up ahead. Do you still have any timed charges let?"

" _Yeah, one. Why do you ask?"_

"Set it for a couple seconds, you'll see why in a minute."

" _Roger that," she shrugged, trusting her teammate to come through for her. Col was a soldier of few words, but often came up with the good plans in a pinch._

 _She banked right as soon as the turn came up, heading further into the city, the goons still hot on her tail._

 _Almost immediately, she saw what Col was talking about; down the road there was an overpass of the highway she was just on, and sitting underneath was large tanker truck._

" _Col, you've done it again!" She quickly tucked the package under her arm and grabbed the remaining blasting charge from her belt and, after struggling with it for a bit, set it to explode a couple seconds after she placed it. As she zoomed past the tanker she tossed the charge onto it, gunning the before she even heard the click._

 _She briefly looked back in time to see the tanker explode just as the Puma drove up next to it._

 _'Yes! Take that, overzealous security detail!'_

" _Thanks, Col, I managed to shake the tail."_

"Any time."

" _Cali, how are things looking on your end?"_

"A little singed, and I'm probably going to have the mother of all headaches, but I managed to get us some transport; just tell me where to pick you guys up!"

" _Perfect," she said, swinging the bike around, "I'm headed to Colorado's location, rendezvous with us there."_

"Roger that! California out."

 __/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_

" _Welcome to Air California!" Cali announced as Mississippi and Colorado climbed on board the Pelican, "We thank you for choosing us for all your air travel needs! Unfortunately we ran out of the complimentary peanuts, so you'll have to make do with ration packs."_

" _Good to see you too, Cali," Mississippi said as she sat down in the cockpit next to him. She plopped the case down on her lap, tracing the rim with her finger, "Kinda ridiculous that there was so much protection for something like this, isn't it?"_

" _What even is it, anyway?" Cali wondered, "I don't think our employers ever mention that little detail."_

" _They didn't," Colorado said, walking into the cockpit and hung onto the bulkhead, "It's need to know."_

" _Yeah, and_ I _need to know!"_

" _No, you don't."_

" _Well, I beg to differ! Missy, take over for a second, I'm gonna take a peek inside that thing."_

" _We aren't getting paid to 'take a peek', leave the package alone!"_

" _Ladies!" Mississippi interjected, getting between her two comrades before they could come to blows and cause the Pelican to crash and kill them all, "If you two want to fight, do it_ after _we land; dying in a fiery crash isn't really a priority on my bucket list."_

 _Cali looked confused for a moment. "But...wouldn't that mean-?"_

" _You get my point, right?" she insisted, her tone leaving very little room for argument._

" _Mmhmm, crystal."_

" _Affermitive."_

" _Good, then let's just get this thing to the drop off point and get paid; you two can do whatever you want after that." She got up and squeezed her way past Colorado. "I'ma go take a nap, wake me up when we get the the drop off point or if someone starts shooting at us, whichever comes first."_

 __/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_

 _Despite the next hour or so being relatively uneventful, Mississippi couldn't manage to relax. She normally didn't have a problem kicking back and catching 40 winks in the field, but today apparently decided to be a jerk and do_ something _or other to her so that she couldn't; she just ended up staring at the package in her hands the entire time, wondering what was so important about its content that would cause it to be defended so vehemently._

" _Hey," Colorado called from the bulkhead, now sans helmet, her mullet just as red as her armor, "We're almost there, and Cali says he's going to set down about a click away from the sight so I can do some reconnaissance."_

 _Mississippi rolled her shoulders in a shrug, "'K, but I don't see why; our employer is completely on the up and up."_

" _...You're sure about that?"_

" _Positive." She removed her own helmet, letting her dirty blonde tresses fall down the back of her Lightish Red armor. "Remember when the Reds and Blues took down the head of Charon Industries? They went totally legit after that."_

 _Colorado raised an incredulous eyebrow. "Really?"_

" _Look, they'd paid us half the fare up front," she insisted, "so I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth." Then a thought occurred to her. "Out of curiosity, did Cali give a reason why he's being so cautious?"_

" _Said something about having a tingly feeling. I didn't stick around for more."_

 _Mississippi didn't say anything; it was weird that the three of them all were having feelings of unease at the same time, and if she were a superstitious person, she'd probably turn the hell around and find a deserted corner of Space and live out the rest of her days with a boring novel in one hand and hard whiskey in the other. However, she wasn't, and they had a job to complete and buckets of cash to swim in immediately afterwards, and that was more important than any "tingly feeling" any of them might have had._

" _...Probably a good choice," she eventually said. She tucked the case under her and and grabbed her helmet, "Better grab your gun; even if this turns to be nothing, no sense in not being prepared."_

 __/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_

" _Yes Darling," California sighed into the radio, "You're the_ prettiest princess ever _!"_

" _Code received," the person on the other end said, much less belligerently than Cali, "We're sending you your landing vector now, you may proceed when ready."_

" _OK," he said once the radio cut out, "who's bright idea was it to make_ 'Am I a pretty princess?' _the password?"_

 _Colorado said nothing, merely scratching the back of her crimson helmet sheepishly._

" _Better than your_ 'What's that watermelon doing there?' _one," Mississippi retorted. "What does that even_ mean _, anyway; is it from a movie or something?"_

" _I'll tell you later," he said, "maybe when we're on our way to Las Vegas."_

" _The city?"_

" _The_ planet _," he clarified. "Nice place, you'll love it. Anyway, you'll never guess what location they chose for the meeting place."_

" _Las Vegas: The Planet?" she guessed._

 _Cali shook his head, "Nope; Blood Gulch."_

" _You're kidding, you mean the place President for Life Donut was first posted at?"_

" _The very same! Which is good for us, because that place is a veritable Sniper's paradise, plenty of good spots for Col to do her thing!" He then flipped on the intercom, "You ready back there, Col?"_

"Affirmative _," she said, followed by the sound of the rear hatch creaking open._

" _...Did she just jump?" Cali wondered. "_ Without _a parachute?"_

" _We've made zero G jumps_ in space _before," she reminded him, "How is_ this _odd to you?"_

" _...well she could've at least gave us some warning first-"_

" _Just set us down, OK? I want to get this done as quickly as possible."_

 __/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_

 _Everything that could go wrong,_ had _gone wrong: their employers had double crossed them, withholding their payment and informing them of the exciting new bounty the Freelancers now had on them, blew up Colorado with a rocket, blew up their recently appropriated Pelican, tried to kill herself and California when they (with good reason) brought their weapons to bear, ended up having to kill their employers when they wouldn't listen to their pleas of not killing them, and California ended up sustaining fatal injuries in the process._

" _Hey, Missy...," he croaked, "I got something I wanna tell-"_

" _Shut your damn mouth!" she barked, giving him a gentle shake. He was currently leaning on her shoulder, the two of them trudging over to the Blue base in hopes of there being medical supplies. She was holding her helmet in her free hand, her hair matted and caked with blood. "Every time someone says that, it means that the person with the message dies a minute or two later, so keep your mouth shut until we get inside and treat your wounds."_

" _You know I won't last that long," he said, "Just...hear me out, OK?" He coughed. "If- ...if you ever make your way to Planet Vegas, ...go to a place called Gavino's and play the Craps table; I always made bank when I played there..."_

" _What did I just tell you?"_

" _Just promise we you'll go, OK? *coughcough!* You could really use chance to just relax, especially after, you know, recent events and everything..."_

" _Cali-"_

" _Promise!"_

" _...OK, I promise; I'll even drink a round in your honor."_

" _Thanks, my ghost will hold you to that." Then he went limp, falling to the ground._

" _Cali!" she cried, kneeling beside her comrade as tears threatened escape her eyes, "Dammit, come back to me; we're_ literally _inches away from the base, we can fix you up if just come back!" The tears finally broke as she hugged her friend's armor. "Just come back already!" she sobbed, chanting the phrase as if it really would work, "Come back, come back, come back, come-"_

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

" _-back here, Neo!_ "

Mississippi jolted awake, reflexively reaching for her sidearm before remembering that she wasn't carrying one at the moment. (She'd voluntarily disarmed herself before their trip out for pizza, save for her combat knife in case of an emergency.) It took her a moment to get her bearings and realize that she was awake.

 **You will just have to try harder, _the Grudge Holding and Resentful Magical Neo graciously informs the smexy Buffoon,_ Verbal apologies can only get you so far.**

" _Oh come on! You can't hold the fact that I tend to take things literally against me! That's just petty!_ "

" _Qiqiqiqi qii qiqiqi! Qi-qi._ "

 **I am not being stubborn! _Her Ladyship protests,_ I just think that given the amount of emotional distress he caused me, greater reparations should be made! In a loincloth- ***whackwhackwhack!* **...more than just saying "I'm sorry" at least.**

Which, strangely, was more insane than her dream had been.

 _Might as well see if they patched things up with Neo,_ she thought, getting up off the sofa, _Though...probably not, considering..."_

fin.


End file.
